Professor Severus Snape to Face Trial by
Accio Grand Jury
*~*~*
We hereby announce that The Accio Grand Jury was convened on
the evening of
Friday 29th July 2005.
WARNING: These charges contain spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!
The Grand Jury consisted of all Accio delegates given the solemn duty of trying, in absentia, one Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for alleged criminal activity
The Charges
The charges on which the aforementioned Severus Snape will be tried are hereby set down:
1. That he did with malice aforethought bring about the unlawful killing of Albus Dumbledore within the realm, namely at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by the use of the Killing Curse, alternatively by causing the said Albus Dumbledore to fall from the Astronomy Tower, having previously attacked the said Albus Dumbledore with the intent of causing by magical means death or grievous bodily harm..
The jury found the defendant not guilty of this charge.
2. That the accused did, feloniously,
treasonously and with malice aforethought, voluntarily accept membership within
a prescribed and illegal organization, vulgarly termed "the Death Eaters";
(the slime ball joined the Death Eaters as well)
This charge was dismissed.
3. That the accused,
feloniously, treasonously and with malice aforethought, continues as a member
in the said illegal organization.
(AND he never left!)
The jury found the defendant not guilty of this charge.
4. That the accused has on diverse occasions
and under the guise of lawful chastisement committed assault and battery on
minors in respect of whom he was in loco parentis, such assault and battery
being occasioned by divers magical and physical means, and resulting in perceptible
physical and psychological harm to the said minors.
(Severus Snape is a great bullying git who picks on the children he's supposed
to be taking care of)
The jury found the defendant not guilty of this charge.
We hope to make available an audio recording of this highly charged but fun trial in due course.
This conference is an unofficial event and is not endorsed or sanctioned by Warner Bros., the Harry Potter book publishers or J.K. Rowling and her representatives.
